Monday, November 03, 2008
AWESOME DAY YESTERDAY!
In fact, the whole weekend rocked! The Halloween party Friday night at Famous Wing's (now known as Darwin's) with costumes (I was Zorro), my Konni Girl, good food, Blue Moon beers, the Just Passin' Through Band playing - a good time was had by all. Saturday afternoon My Girl and The Baby came down to visit. Miss Em is sassy, full of mischief, bossy and sweet-just like her mother. We had fun in the short time I saw them (it was last-minute, and I already had a lot going on this weekend). Hopefully, we'll make a trip up to Flagstaff soon to hang out longer.
Saturday night at The Ox with the Just Passin' Through Band. I used to go to The Ox about a million years ago when it was called The "I' (1983). I can tell you, the clientele sure has changed. Tweakers, Geeks and Freaks, Fruits and Nuts, and Flip-Flop Drunkards were all in attendance. Well, I guess the clientele hasn't really changed all that much, now that I think about it. But, hey- the music was good, I got to dance and drink Blue Moon (my current favorite) and kiss on my Rock Star during the breaks.
Sunday- Oh, Happy Sunday! Got up late (stayed up late!), had the $2 breakfast at Wing's (Darwin's), then headed out of town to go see my Shanny Girl. What a gorgeous day! It's still 80 degrees on November 2nd. We took the back roads to Tucson instead of the boring ride down I-10. We passed through beautiful desert, cholla jungles and almost got eaten by dingos when we stopped to rest for a minute. I saw what looked like partying in the cemetaries that we passed and thought "Wow. I haven't partied in the cemetary in AGES! Is this a holiday?" I forgot that it was Dias De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead). Dur.
We rounded the Catalina Mountains coming into Tucson and just had to check out the little yard sale in the Circle K parking lot- they were closing up by then and the only interesting thing I saw was a bird cage. But I couldn't see myself riding on the back of the bike with a damn bird cage swinging in the wind. I took lots of pictures from the back of the bike.
We finally got to where Shannon was staying. She met us out in the driveway, and I was blinded just by looking at her. Her radiant beauty will knock. you. dead. She pulled me off the bike and gave me a quick hug. Then she shoved me aside, hopped on the bike, grabbed Rick around the waist and yelled "Let's GO!" haha, funny girl!
We had a short, though entirely pleasant visit. We met her friend Lisa, who is recovering from a stroke. With Shannon taking care of her, I wouldn't be surprised if Lisa was up running marathons within 6 months! Truly, an amazing thing to witness is Shannon's dedication to people.
We sat around the table and had beer, some kind of chocolate turd-looking-thing she and Jack had made (RAW, of course, but better than real brownies), some killer mint chocolate chip ice cream (also RAW), lots of laughs, music- her Granny's very own "My Child Has A Billy Goat" and other hits by the famous Maddox Brothers and Rose, and a little Jeffrey Steele. We looked at pictures and reminisced about Jackson and our friends, who are scattered worldwide. Shannon's boys (Lane, Garret and Jack) are beautiful, healthy, polite, sweet and all-around great kids. They are a true pleasure to be around, much like their mother. Shannon tried to send me home with a pumpkin but I wanted to take Jacky instead. At least he is bendable-and on the bike, that is important.
Those that know her know that to be anywhere near Shannon is like being in some sort of magnetic force field. You have no resistance to her charm, her wit, her biting sarcasm, and the love she oozes from every pore. She is a force to be reckoned with, and I pity the fool who is too stupid to realize it. She's also a pole-dancing stage whoor, but who can blame her? If I looked like that. . . . . LOL
So, be JELL-ASS, my friends, that I got to immerse myself in the aura and sweetness of Shannon Rose. And you didn't. And I had a lot of TOP quality time with my Rock Star. Good times, Baby. Good times.
neener neener
Pateeta
5:25 PM
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I carry your heart
by ee cummings
carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant,
and whatever a sun will always sing is you.
here is the deepest secret nobody knows:
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
You know who you are.
pateeta
10:41 PM
Friday, October 10, 2008
My poor little Pony
Some Bee-yotch stole the tail light covers off my Mustang! I walked out to my car yesterday at lunch and noticed that the back of my car looked wierd. At first I thought my bumper had been ripped off, but it was the tail light covers! Both sides looked nekkid! Bare bulbs hanging there! WTF??? Immediately I scanned the parking lot to look for the thieves (the filthy little thieves) but there was no one around. Well, if this don't beat all, I thought.
I called around to parts stores, junkyards, checked on Ebay, etc. looking for replacements. It's an old and crappy Mustang, but it IS still a Mustang, and parts aren't cheap- even plastic tail light covers. So now I have the ghetto red tape on it so I can drive without being rear ended cuz someone doesn't see my brake lights, and Randy from The Mustang Shop has ordered me a new set - $130!!! But the junkyard wanted to sell me ONE old cracked one for $50, so I guess I'm getting a good deal for new.
GRRRRRRRR
pateeta
1:55 PM
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Meltdown
I think that maybe I WILL just have that breakdown. You know, just to get it over with. I've had so much happening lately- so many changes and so much stress-I held it all in and kept going because I had to, but now I feel my control slipping away. Nobody's here, just me and my big black dog. I'm sure he won't mind if I weep uncontrollably into his soft furry neck.
He loves me like that.
Pateeta
2:45 AM
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Trying to get my Zen back
It's been exactly one year since my last serious breakdown (my Boyo left, the BF moved out, and my Mojo was dying-all in the same week) so I figured that I was due for one, but somehow I made it through this past week on pure determination and adrenaline. I HATE MOVING. With a passion! Had problems with my new apartment (ants, management issues, etc.), problems at work (busy as hell, backed up, and the new girl just doesn't know how to STFU- she may get my boot up her ass very soon).
I'd like to thank my peeps: My Mom, My Bro, My Rock Star, and My Konni Girl for helping me through it all. I owe you guys BIG TIME! And thanks to Ambien I was able to get some solid sleep last night. Disclaimer: whatever I say in an Ambien trance can't be held against me. I'm lucky if I even remember that you called.
Now the work week and moving stress are over and I'm just trying to decompress. The Rock Star is out of town for the weekend and the Boyo is gone again for Fall Break , but the dog finally pooped, the ant problem is fixed, I have many bottles of good stuff to drink and I'm slowly getting my stuff unpacked and trying to get my groove back. But I'm bored. And I'm lonely.
Woe is me.
pateeta
8:00 PM
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Sunday, Sunday
Sunday was a beautiful day. I went to church with the Rock Star. I did! I know all you non-believers are shaking your heads thinking "what shenanigans is she gonna pull next? Pateeta in a church??? Did the roof cave in?"
I haven't been to church in a long, long time. My parents weren't church-goers and I started going on my own when I was a kid. When I did go, I usually felt better afterwards but I guess I never really "got" what I was supposed to get. I've visited a lot of different churches trying to get some perspective but I stopped going because I got tired of them bashing other churches or religions, and I didn't like the feeling that I was being judged when I walked through the door. That, to me, wasn't what it was supposed to be about.
It was a perfect day; warm, clear, and traffic was light as we rode out to the far west side of the valley. We were dressed in jeans, boots, bandanas and baseball caps. I had nothing on my mind but the wind on my face, how pretty the mountains looked and how good it felt to be on that bike with him. I didn't think twice when he asked me to go with him a few days earlier, I just said "yes"- because I want to be part of his world. But when we pulled up to the church I got nervous. Really, really nervous. What if they didn't like me? What if I tripped walking through the door? What if I looked. . . . bad? All hat-haired, wind-blown, scared, unsure, just.....wrong??? What if they knew just by looking at me what a horrible person I really was? That I hadn't been to church in years and I had no business being there??? I knew it wasn't a firing squad, but it had been awhile, ya know? I was sure my church-card had long since expired. And organized religion freaks me out -there's so much contradiction. What could I believe?
He had told me what to expect (like, DUH, it's church); music (with a band!), talking, some prayer, nice people, regular church stuff (with a band!) but I still wasn't sure. I'm such a dork sometimes, I swear. Some of you would never know how insecure I am, being the boisterous goofball in-your-face crazy girl that I show you. I can bounce into a group of complete strangers practically screaming "HERE I AM!" but let me walk into a church and I become a mouse. A squeaking, shy, scared little mouse. (unless it was for my daughter's events)
Well. I thought we'd sit in the back, nice and quiet where nobody could see me- but nooooo. Right to the front he took me. Great, I thought. Dang. Nothing like jumping right in. And guess what? The roof didn't cave in. I didn't fall down. I didn't emabarrass anyone. I met some nice people and nobody gave me the stink-eye. Church surely wasn't like I remembered it; this was modern, with comfy seats, A/C, a coffee bar, and they had a band! (yes, I'm still trippin' on the band, among other things.) It was all very casual and comfortable and the pastor was cool and said some great things that really woke me up, and I didn't feel bad not being "dressed up for church". And Rock Star squeezed my hand and smiled at me every now and then, which did a lot for me.
This is probably not a big deal to most, but it was to me. It wasn't what I saw there but what I heard and how it made me feel. I felt really good about the whole thing, and being there with him was very special. I was so glad he asked me to go with him. I don't know if I can thank him enough for that. It made me think about a lot of things, mainly that I've been brain-dead for too long. I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life and I want and need something and someone to believe in. I have let so many people let me down so many times, including myself. I am not the person I want to be, or the person I should be.
We spent the rest of the day together on the bike, meeting up with his friends and stopping for a drink here and there. Then we went back to my house and watched a movie with the Boyo (who thinks the Rock Star is hilarious- I think it's mutual). It really was a perfect day.
The only constant thing in my life is change. I feel like good things are about happen for me and it's time to pull my head out and let them happen. Je suis prest. Thank you Baby
Big Love
pateeta
5:40 AM
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Pirated! Yarrrrr......
Great party last night! Went out with Rock Star to a Pirate Party at his bar and met his crazy friends. Good tunes on the juke box, great costumes, way too much ARRRRGG! and YARRR! and way too much whiskey for me- I should put my hat back on to keep my brains from leaking out. A good time was had by all.Why is the rum gone?
pateeta
12:00 AM
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Procrastination at its finest
How many boxes have I packed so far? Well, um...... I had to, um, let's see..... I had to go and sign my new apartment lease! Yeah! That took an hour and a half. Then I had to go pick up Jessie from Denny's and take her home. Then I had to go to Safeway and buy many bottles of alcoholic refreshment to get me through the packing. Then I had to swing by the apartments again. Then I came home, unpacked the groceries (many bottles of alcohol), took many minutes eating a bologna sammich and drinking a bottle of Harp lager. Then I had to check email cuz I was sure that Rock Star sent me something. (he did). And then I got caught up in an email frenzy with some friends, had to post on a couple message boards, then had to watch some videos on Youtube. Oh damn. My beer bottle is empty. BRB.
Okay- got a new beer. I put a pork roast in the crock pot earlier- the smell is driving me mad with hunger. I'll have to go and pick at it in a little while. Chongo is begging me to take him out. I think I'll actually walk him instead of letting him out in the yard. That should take at least an hour, right? After I finish this new beer that's what I'll do. Oh, hey! Awesome song on the radio! I'll have to get up and shake my groove thing. Nothing like a little exercise to get me motivated, right? Oh no! I just looked into the dining room. There are a stack of (empty) boxes in there and I could swear they just shifted. They actually look closer than they were a minute ago. Could they be stalking me? If you don't hear from me soon, make sure to check the boxes. I'll probably be stuffed inside of one of them.
Help me
pateeta
9:47 PM
Sunday, September 14, 2008
9 Boxes
Moving SUCKS! And now I promised to pack nine boxes today. NINE BOXES!! What was I thinking?? It's Sunday! Time to go back to bed and see what happened in that crazy dream I was having. (too bad we can't TIVO our dreams, huh?) Time to laze around and NOT watch football. Time to read 6 chapters in both the books on my coffee table- Anthony Bourdain's "The Nasty Bits", and the first Twilight book I got from Cassie. But noooooooo. Where are the Moving Faeries when you need them? I did have a really awesome morning and an excellent breakfast with the Rock Star, but now I'm a football widow and have to go pack nine boxes.
GRRRRRR.
pateeta
4:09 PM
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Old School
I love networking sites, whether it's MySpace, Facebook, Classmates, etc. I get to reconnect with old friends from my other lives. A couple weeks ago I met up with someone I hadn't seen in 25 years. We've both grown up a lot since we saw each other last. I think he rocks. Oh, wait-he does! He's a Rock Star now. And I always thought he'd be a manager at Burger King.
huh.
pateeta
8:36 PM
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I have to move again.
Ya know, it seems that the only constant in my life is change. Damnit. A year after the BF moved out, I find that I just cannot afford to live in this BigAss house by myself. But hey, at least I lasted another year on my own. That's something to write home about.
I'll be moving back to my old apartments at the end of next month. It was a good place for us when we left Chicago almost 4 years ago and they'll take my big black dog. The rent is cheaper, I won't have to take care of the yard anymore (this one is HUGE) and I'll have the pool right off my patio again, so it ain't all bad. But still, I'm sad. I loved this house. On the other hand, my kid is great, the job is good, the sun comes up and I wake up breathing every day.
It could always be worse.
pateeta
2:56 AM
Old Guys
I went to my Mom's house today because an old friend of my Dad's came by. My Dad passed away 24 years ago, and that was probably the last time I saw Larry, too. I was expecting to see the big, long haired, fully bearded man with the brown, twinkly Santa Claus eyes that I'd known since I was very small, but the guy I saw was OLD, bald, toothless, and much, much smaller than I'd ever expected. You forget how time passes, and people you don't see much over the years change so much! Kids grow up, and grownups get old. My dad would be 77 years old now if he'd lived, and he'd probably look like Larry did.
Larry was still the same guy though, happy, full of shit, and rambling on about a thousand different things at once. He offered me his bottle of tequila, and though I'm not usually known for drinking tequila on a Sunday morning, I accepted his offer and sat down at the table with him to chat. It seemed like the friendly thing to do, right? We talked about this and that, and he kept laughing at me and my sister, saying we still had the same shit-eatin' grins that we had as children. "Of course we do, are we not Bob's daughters?" we joked.
I never really got to know my Dad as an adult. I was just 23 when he died, and had not lived at home for several years before that, so it is always enlightening to hear about my dad as a man and a friend from someone who'd known him for so long. I felt my Dad there in the room with us today- watching over us, his daughters with the shit-eatin' grins.
I miss him.
pateeta
9:30 PM
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